This post seems particularly apt for Poetry Friday because it's about the spoken word, and poetry is meant to be spoken. Some believe that our everyday interactions create the poetry of our lives. I enjoy the idea a lot.
Thoughts fly through my mind this week, remembering this time last year, each day spent loving my husband, and preparing as I could to say goodbye. A year ago yesterday, I did. With the loving support of family and friends, the year has passed, seasons have come and gone, much has been celebrated. In every part, it's a comfort to think he's near, if only in our thoughts. One large thing that I've noticed during this time of loss is that I no longer have anyone to tell the small things to, especially to my husband. Of course I talk to my children and friends, but not about those tiny things that one says more often than you think, like "Can you believe I left this _________ at home again?" or "Did you see the tree down the block was cut down?" and especially, "Do you remember how much fun it was when we ___________?" And I do miss the bigger conversations and moments, yet these mundane moments fill in the cracks day to day. This is a poem I wrote last fall for Arvie, my dear husband whom I miss very much.
And I Would Show You
And I would
show you autumn is here.
Where once
greenest leaves, now falling goodbyes.
Flowers’
last blooms fade by the evening;
Afternoon
breezes undress trees with sighs.
And I would
show you the sun has changed angles.
It’s no
longer glaring, clouds relax in their glide.
Last minute
bees taste last minute nectar;
Crickets
are chirping, cicadas abide.
And I would
show you the clocks appear slower;
it’s time
for breath holding, and nothing still grows.
Nature’s
preparing stark shadows of winter,
Beginning
to paint on its canvas of snow.
Linda Baie ©All Rights
Reserved
Oh Linda, I wish I could give you a big hug right now. Thank you for this brave, beautiful post and for sharing your poem. I love the imagery, tone, and slow movement of the words. It is simply stunning!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Becky. It is important to me to remember the day.
DeleteSending big hugs your way, Linda. Has it already been a year? You're right about the small things filling in the cracks day to day. In retrospect the small things can mean the most. The poem is beautiful and so heartfelt. Holding you in my thoughts. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Jama. Time moves so fast, doesn't it?
DeleteYour poem, your reflections, your love for Arvie shines through in this post and beyond, Linda. Time goes so fast, yet moves so slow in relation to the small things. Sending you a hug. = )
ReplyDeleteThanks, Bridget, for all your words!
DeleteOh Linda, I love this poem of the things you would show Arvie. I sense the goodbye in each line.
ReplyDelete"Crickets are chirping, cicadas abide." This makes me think of the abiding love you have for Arvie and the memories that comfort you. Glad that you were able to share this poem with us as you marked the one year milestone.
You are dear to share your thoughts with me, Ramona. Thank you!
DeleteThe slowing clocks are a patient, quiet metaphor for grief. It's a striking image.
ReplyDeleteLinda, I'm thinking of you. Ever since our Poetry Friday holiday swap a few years ago, you've held a special place in my heart. Sending my love to you.
Thanks Laura, I love our connection too!
Delete"Afternoon breezes undress trees with sighs," is luminous.
ReplyDeleteAnd I Would Show You is a love poem that makes me cry with appreciation for
what you had & still feel from his always-closeness. You are generous to share.
Thank you, I appreciate your kindness!
Delete"Last minute bees taste last minute nectar"
ReplyDeleteOh, Linda. This is exquisite and sad and so honest. It calls to mind a favorite poem of mine, "Summons" by Robert Francis. (http://truth-out.org/archive/component/k2/item/92085:come-wake-me-up
Lots of love to you as you continue to pass this love on to your family, your students, and us. May these "cracks" fill for you, when you are ready, and with something sweet. xoxo
Thank you Amy, for the words and the link! I appreciate them both.
DeleteThis poem resonates with memory and love, dear Linda - just those small noticing that we turn and share in the course of the day with a partner we have walked beside for many years. I feel your sadness, and I wish you comfort. But I also feel your healing, and marvel at your strength and grace. I am thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteThanks Tara, quite a year has passed, and I am okay, but sad for that part of my life.
DeleteThere's not much I can say, Linda...just to send you thoughts of comfort.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Diane!
Delete(Typing through tears...) What a profound and beautiful sharing, Linda - thank you. Sending hugs and prayers for blessings as you pass this milestone. Thank you for the light that you are.
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome, Robyn. Today it was good to share, and to hear all the sweet words. Thanks much!
DeleteNaturally, I welled up as I read this post. The first five words hit me the hardest. Hugs to you, dear Linda. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Myra. I appreciate it!
DeleteLinda,
ReplyDeleteSince I did not know of your sad event from a year ago, I noticed such a sensitivity in the way you approached this piece that I need to step back and rethink relationships and life. May your sweet memories and loving words continue to flow in poetic language.
Thanks Carol. It's been a long journey. I am grateful for your wishes.
DeleteYou brought a tear to my eye, too, Linda. "Last minute bees taste last minute nectar" -- sigh. I think you expressed yourself very well in both the post and poem. Sending you hugs.
ReplyDeleteThanks Tabatha. I'm glad you thought it was good.
DeleteThis is such a lovely poem filled with imagery. I can feel the sigh of loss in each line. This one is my favorite, "Afternoon breezes undress trees with sighs." I also love "time for breath holding." Your word choice also speaks of that feeling of loss. I know that the small moments, and the little inside jokes, would be what I would miss. Thank you for sharing with us your vulnerability.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Margaret. I'm glad you connect with the idea of it.
DeleteHere's another hug, and a thanks for your words, which have moved me to tears.
ReplyDeleteThanks Mary Lee, as you can see, it seemed important to share how special Arvie was to me.
DeleteI was sitting here crying and thinking that my comment to you would begin with the words that were in my heart: "Oh, Linda ...."
ReplyDeleteAnd as I scrolled through these comments, I see so many others beginning, "Oh, Linda...."
Oh, Linda. We're all embracing you with "Oh, Lindas." :)
So beautiful and so sad and I'm so sorry. Your deep love for your husband and your deep loss are here in this poem, and it perfectly conveys the million-and-one tiny little things that are missed, the things I know I would miss, the things that make a life together.
{Hugs to you.} With sympathetic thoughts and all the best to you as you continue bravely on this journey.
Thank you Karen, I just saw this, and now you've made me a little teary, too. Your words are very sweet. As I said earlier, I want to mark the day, the time, & I knew that all of you would be supportive, & I like that, too. The time, and the poem means much. It's special to know that there are caring people everywhere, & I hope everyone knows I would hug back!
DeleteIt's so beautiful, Linda, and it made me cry. You are an inspiration, going through grief and loss with so much beauty.
ReplyDeleteThank you Ruth. I know that it's a good thing to share and help each other whatever the challenges. I suspect you know that too.
DeleteThank you for sharing this beautiful poem. "It's time for breath-holding..."--that's what I found myself doing reading your words. So much of married life is made up of sharing the small things, and I can only imagine how difficult that loss is. Wishing you the strength to hold on to the memories of your past with Arvie, and the good fortune to make new memories with family and friends.
ReplyDeleteThanks, both are true, holding on and new memories, too, Buffy.
DeleteHard to believe a year has passed already... but that's a long time measured in "mundane moments," I'm sure. Your beautiful poem has allowed me to stop, sigh deeply, and reflect on life... for that I thank you. And I send you my love, Linda.
ReplyDeleteThank you Michelle. Part of the sharing is to allow others to take something good away, too. I'm happy you did!
DeleteOh, I missed this when you posted it, and am so glad you linked to it today so I could see it now. I love the repeated phrase in each first line, and can imagine so clearly how you must feel. My husband and I share everything too, and have for so many years already (9 years of marriage and 5 years of friendship & dating in college before that), that I can feel your pain quite well, just imagining...
ReplyDeleteSimply beautiful, Linda. I am so glad that I was able to read this post and poem once again. Your memories will live in your heart forever. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDelete