Monday, March 5, 2012

Slice Number Six - The Lonesome Swing

The March Slice of Life Challenge with Stacey and Ruth 
Can Be Found at their blog, the Two Writing Teachers.


              Come read and enjoy some creative writing by many many terrific bloggers.




             Sometimes working with memories can bring feelings of nostalgia. I don't always like looking at old scrapbooks because it makes me sad.  It doesn't always happen, and there are other times I do like looking, but I try to be a mindful person and I dwell in the present most of the time, or plan for the future.                  
              Dictionary.com defines nostalgia as a wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a formertime in one's life, to one's home or homeland, or to one's family and friends.  
                I have many fond memories.  I've been writing some parts of my time with one set of grandparents, and some different ways of looking at my children growing up.  I enjoy the way I'm writing to remember happy moments in my life, different people, places and events.  I wrote this poem as a part of my remembering, just a little look at the past.




                                                   The Lonesome Swing


                                             The lonesome swing
                                             Ring around the rosy
                                           Becomes a distant memory
                                                Pocket full of posy
                                                 The years flip by
                                                   Ashes, Ashes
                                              Time to say good-bye
                                                   We all fall down
                                                    I alone pause






photo credit: 27147 via photopin cc

31 comments:

  1. I am not a poetry person but I was very moved by your poem. I'm sure that I brought my background knowledge of moves to it. I could feel that last, longing glance. Love how the two poems wove together....just beautiful!

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  2. Love that! I love how you combined and alternated the lines. Very powerful. And nice photo selection, too!

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  3. I love that image with your poem Linda and your slice first. It all works to share that universal experience of loss. Music has been doing that for me lately. I was figuring that grouping my favorite tunes of all-time to together would make me smile. No, it doesn't.

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  4. "Lonesome" and "alone" say it all. I love the childhood rhyme inbetween. Poetry can be so refreshing to a writer. I will try a poem soon, too. Thanks for the memories.

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  5. Mm where to begin. Your poem evokes powerful memories, powerful connections. The way you did it inspires me as a writer and as a teacher. I like how it was done. I think people may like reading our stories, but unless we help them make connections to themselves they usually move on. They stay to have a conversation about shared experiences. Thank you for helping me understand that.

    I learn so much from reading your blog and "listening" to the comments. I am glad you write.

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  6. Very well done. I agree that the alternating lines, even the choice in color change gives this poem such a nice structure. Your last line says it all for me though. "I alone pause."

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  7. Love how the poem and the rhyme became intertwined. Beautiful.

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  8. I love the last line and the photo. In my head I hear a child's voice alternating with that of a grown woman and laughter behind the pause that makes it all the more poignant.

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  9. How do you do it? I love the two voices (I'm with Catie and heard the child and adult voice too). Your writing always pushes me to up my level of writing. You are amazing!

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  10. lovely poem and beautiful picture
    thanks for defining nostalgia for us too

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  11. This post has a sad title. Thank you for sharing your thinking before the poem. Even though, the poem in itself would have been plenty - beautiful and emotion evoking.

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  12. This is awesome! Barry Lane calls this a Lullaby Weave and yours is a perfect example. I'll be pinning this to my mentor text board! Also, the picture that goes along with it is so lonely and sad looking. Just like the poem

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  13. Beautiful and sad at the same time. Poems that can do this are masterfully crafted.
    Ruth

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  14. I am with Elsie and Catie in hearing the generationally different voices. I want to hear more about the "different ways of looking at my children growing up". Hope those are coming in future slices.

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  15. I really like the poem intertwined with "A pocket full of posy". I don't know why it is so sad to me. I guess because it reminds me of my youth and my parents, who are elderly and not in the best of health. However, it is written very well. I'm just melancholy today! Thanks for sharing! Happy Slicing! :)

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  16. Beautifully craft with a special spot to hold.

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  17. Wow Linda, really powerful! I love the juxtaposition of your words and the nursery rhyme, and the different colors made it even better! The picture you picked out to have at the end was so perfect too -- the soft/sharp focus contrast really conveys the emotions in your poem. So sweet and wistful!

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  18. Beautiful poem. I love the image you chose to accompany your words.

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  19. The song lyrics alternating with lines of poetry is so powerful! What a lovely poetry idea. How sad is that swing! It reminds me of a piece one of my former students wrote about the History of a Backyard.

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  20. Oh gosh thanks that's just what I need as my daughter tries on her prom dress tonight...the tears are rolling. Your poem brings images of my grandma and her porch swing, my childhood swing set, my children swinging as babies and toddlers, and our playground. So much emotion evoked from one small- beautiful poem.
    Thank you.
    Tammy

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  21. I loved my apple tree swing. This is now so far away in time but not in memory. Nice interweaving of the two.

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  22. Linda,What a beautiful and powerful poem. I love how you intertwined your poem with Ring Around the Rosy. It really touched me. Slicing has made me very nostalgic too. I've done a lot of thinking about my kids when they were little. I'm sure it doesn't help that my youngest will be leaving for her foreign exchange year in August as she travels to Turkey. Thank you so much for sharing!

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  23. Beautifully crafted, Linda :). I love your thoughts intertwined with the rhyme everyone knows. Like your other readers, I heard you as a child and you as an adult. The juxtaposition is striking. Growing up and life changing can be sad when looking through adult eyes;I think you perfectly captured that theme here.

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  24. I hear the two voices saying the poem together. The image fits perfectly with the mood of the poem, a bit dark and the angle makes it all the more interesting because the viewer is lower than the swing, on the grass. Powerful, Linda.

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  25. Wow, Linda, this is beautiful. And haunting.

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  26. I too loved the image and the craft of the two different poems/voices.

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  27. Linda, the title was an instant attraction and I found myself further impressed by the parallel voices. A beautiful poetic construction.

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  28. What a superb juxtaposition; the interplay between the lines creates so much meaning and poignant emotion. Beautifully woven together!

    Your slice reminds me why I don't own a camera and don't take pictures; what's stored away in my head already brings me enough nostalgia!

    Carefully crafted piece of writing; just awesome! :)

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  29. What a haunting photo, Linda, which complements your poem so perfectly. Like you, I try to remain in the present - since as I always share with my students, the minute you are aware of the present, it's past - and keeping pace with it as it flows past you is a thing of beauty and grace. :)

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  30. Oh, sigh! We ARE on the same wistfulnostalgic wavelength, Linda. The weaving of song and thought is lovely. Goodbye just tugs, be it for an object, a time, a person, a memory. Because of your poem, at this moment, I'm thinking about my childhood swingset and how we'd make our own circus there. Sigh again.

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  31. How amazing the way you were able to tie together a chant from childhood with a powerful memory like the swings. Absolutely lovely!

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